Read Time: 5 mins
So here’s the thing.
Nobody actually cares about you.
Someone woke up on the right side of the bed.
Here’s the thing, though.
Nobody actually cares about you. They don’t care about where you are or what you’re doing. They don’t care about your lifestyle or your job or your friends. They just don’t.
The secret:
People only care you insofar as it affects them.
They only care about themselves and their lives, and if your life doesn’t affect them at all? They don’t care.
Hard pill to swallow, I know.
But allow me to shove it down your throat.
Hashtag Selfish
Every single action we take in our lives are selfish. Even the acts of kindness we take, we are still motivated by personal gain. There is no such thing as 100% altruism. It might just appear that way if don’t understand the motives.
Even the most selfless act we could possibly take – We do it so that we can feel good about ourselves.
Selfish.
A net positive to society and should we keep doing them?
Absolutely.
But selfish nonetheless.
If you hold the door open for someone, perhaps you are genuinely kind, but perhaps you just don’t want to be viewed as an asshole.
If you get your significant other a birthday gift, perhaps you are feeling generous, but perhaps it’s because you the relationship to work out and this is a way to show your love.
If you help out a coworker with a project perhaps it’s because you don’t want them to suffer, but perhaps also you want good relations on the off chance you need something later.
Everything is motivated by self interest.
That is not a bad thing.
Whether direct or indirect, we benefit from every single action that we take in which we view ourselves as generous.
- Helping Franklin (yeah, Ben) get a shopping deal – Strengthen your relationship
- Cook dinner for friend – Strengthen your relationship
- Selfishly taking care of a sickly spouse – Again, you benefit from a strengthened relationship
Much of the time, our desired outcome is a stronger relationship, or feeling as part of a tribe. As humans, we’re social creatures and want to belong. We take actions to belong.
We take actions to directly contribute to our own survival, and indirectly benefit from the survival of others in our social circles.
Sure, this could be a pretty dismal way of looking at it, but any other way would be lying to ourselves.
Our evolutionary purpose is to pass on our DNA and continue the human race. Everything we do in life can be directly linked to our survival.
All the actions we take are for our survival and our success.
They are, by definition, selfish.
Woah
We may not consciously think about our Return on Investment, but every action is for our own benefit.
That is fine, though. That is how we should live.
Desire propels the world forward.
Those unable to admit are hiding behind a wall of insecurity “I do it to help people”
“Wrong”. You do it to feel good about yourself.
That is FINE though. Everyone is in the exact same boat. We all are selfish.
There’s no need to hide behind a wall of insecurities.
Frankly, it’s freeing.
Freedom
The cool part about selfishness is that it’s liberating. If nobody gives a shit, and we all only give a shit about ourselves, and we’re honest about it, we can begin to move our life and everyone else’s life forward.
Because the neat part of it all is many of us all have the same goal:
Survival.
Once you find people that approach their survival in the same way that you do, boom, mutual benefit. The sum becomes greater than the individual parts. You have what I like to call… a relationship.
Once you establish the same goals you can help each other get to where you both want to go.
That’s what a business is.
That’s what a marriage is.
That’s what friendships are.
They’re all mutually beneficial relationships. Everyone gets what they want and everyone wins. That’s why they work because everyone’s selfish, not in spite of.
Selfish for You
Everyone is too busy with their own life, their own friends, their own feelings to begin to even remotely care what you’re doing with yours.
Isn’t that an incredible feeling?
People may be immensely opposed… that’s only because they want to fit in with their tribe. The obligation to a TRIBE requires people to act in the way that they believe the tribe will act.
They only care about what you’re doing as far as it affects them. But guess what? It doesn’t.
So DON’T WORRY.
Newsflash:
Your life does not affect what other people are doing with theirs.
So why care about their opinions?
Their life doesn’t impact yours.
“You don’t have to answer just ’cause they asked you”
(T. Swift, I know)
Ignore it!
Be selfish!
Please. I’m begging you. Don’t live for other people. Live for yourself.
Be selfish.
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