Living a happier, more enjoyable, more fulfilling life.
Video:
– My story – now i want to stop it all
I Don’t Want
I watched my parents fight a lot growing up. They never were pleased with each other. They constantly disagreed and frequently fought. They always seemed to be stressed and what little time they spent together only seemed to stress each other out.
They loved my sisters and I. And they wanted what’s best. But I grew up ice skating… no not like that, but more so just perpetually on thing ice. They expected the best from us all and we had very high expectations of us. Anything short of our absolute best was failure. Sometimes even that didn’t feel like enough.
So we all did pretty well in school. We all ended up doing fairly well for ourselves. But through this whole journey all I could help wondering was “is this it”?
At some point I started to wonder what the hell all the hard work was for. What’s the point? Why do I work this hard? What is it all for? Is there a point to any of it? I realized I didn’t work the damn hard to work some 9-5 job. There had to be something more.
It didn’t seem like my parents saw their friends enough and money was always a point of contention. Weekends were usually at home just sort of being there. They just didn’t seem all that happy.
Both of them lived with a good bit of anxiety and it felt impossible to live my own life because they were both stressed and anxious. I was always on thin ice. I never quite felt free.
But they loved us. And they supported us. And they had high expectations. And for that I am beyond grateful.
Trying to make the most of what they taught me and share the rest of what I learned from books and people who seem to have it figured out.
1 Enjoyable It kinda pisses me off that we aren’t taught to actually live happier lives. It’s up to our parents and if they never quite figured it out it’s up to us.
Traditional schooling never seemed to quite cut it and all they wanted is for us to memorize a bunch of facts. It seems like it’s set up so that we can provide the most amount of output for society. It seems like it is just training us to be cogs in the machine. News flash… it is.
The modern education system was developed by a guy named Horace Mann. It was designed in an agricultural era to increase output and was designed off a Prussian Military Academy. I’m not sure if you noticed, but we’re no longer confined by agricultural output.
The value of education has gone down. We don’t need to teach people to blindly follow directions… we need them to think. Unfortunately… we’re taught the opposite… to follow.
2 Individualism Every person is incredibly talented at something. Everyone. Even you Gerald. Each person is unique, with their own set of talents, skills, and characteristics. Yet, those talents are neither cultivated nor even celebrated.
If we don’t fit in to the cookie cutter mold we’re brushed away, labeled as disobedient or weird. hg
I envision a future where, socially, we have enough self-awareness to make the most of every single person’s unique talents… your talents. What are you good at? How do you excel? How can we make the most of your passions and talents?
You are very good at certain things. You have a specific world view. We just have to find out what they are. Your greatest weakness’ are your greatest strengths and vice versa. I want to find out what they are. I want you to enjoy your work and enjoy your life. I want you to be happy.
3 A Life We Want It seems ridiculous that we have to work jobs we don’t enjoy with people we don’t like… oh, and who decided 8 was the magic number of hours? I propose an alternate future where we get to set our lives up to actually enjoy. We travel to the countries, we love the people we love, and we cross off the bucket list. There’s no reason we all can’t live a life that we’re proud of.
I want to get to the end of my life and be proud of what I created. And I want the same for you.
4 Optimized
I explore ways for us to enjoy our lives, be healthy, have high quality relationships, understand how to treat other people and more importantly ourselves. This is a compilation of the most relevant and tangible advice I’ve found on the Internet.
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid”
-Albert Einstein
Focus on what you can control. Right now, where you are vs where you want to be… What can you do right this very moment to crawl yourself closer to your goal?
It’s so easy to be caught up in what ifs and could-bes. We’re all dreamers, but how many of us take action.
What is the single most important thing to you right now? What is the next action you can take?
The body and the mind take care of each other. If you stop taking care of one, the other fails. They both need exercise and they both need fuel.
Retirement at age 65 is an arbitrary age. It has no basis, no data, not an ounce of truth anymore and is merely a way people have been living for a very long time.
Retirement is a disillusioned state of happiness that does not really exist. The enjoyment of life is now
“Life is a sum of present moments”
Oliver Burkeman
“You retire on your memories”
Bill Perkins
The place of happiness doesn’t exist
“We need more people to ask why the fuck are we doing the things that we’re doing”
Colin Douglas
“From all my travels over the globe and all the people I’ve met – everyone is just doing the best with the current information they have”
Colin Douglas
Even that person you hate, your liberal friend, your republican friend, your selfish friend, your anti-religious friend, your religious friend, your racist friend, your sexist friend, your asshole friends…. hatred is taught. Everyone is doing the best with what we have. The best thing we can do is educate ourselves.
“The most important thing you can do is be a lifelong learner”
90 year old Japanese Professor
NEVER SPLIT THE DIFF – REPEAT ARGUMENT BACK TO THEM
“Opinions from total strangers take me out of my ways
I try and see who’s there on the other end of the shade
Most times it’s just somebody that’s under-aged
That’s probably just alone and afraid
And lashin’ out so that someone else can feel they pain”Aubrey Graham, Emotionless
“Every single person has incredible talents and expertise. Most of them are going wildly underutilized because we don’t understand what we’re best and worst at”
‘I think the secret to life is eliminating human suffering’
Source: Unknown
“I want to live a life with no regrets. I want to get to the end of my life and be able to say “I’m proud of the life I’ve lived”
Colin Douglas
“I’d rather live in a world of ‘oh-wells’ than ‘what ifs’
Tim Ferriss
ACTION: Do, Have, Be
In 5 years what are the things to have done?
What are the things you want to have?
What are the things you want to be?Tim Ferriss
“Idols give you insight into your values”
Source: Unknown
Looking at the people I am inspired by has given me tremendous insight in to the values I want to exemplify and the way I want to conduct my life
- Steve Jobs
- Bill Hicks
- Alex Volkanovski
- Patrice O’Neal
- George Carlin
- Jiro Ono
- Akira Kurosawa
- Winston Churchill
“If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants”
Isaac Newton
I explore ways for us all to have the courage to live happier, more fulfilled, and independent of the pressure from those around us.
- Quotes/Shorts ~1 Minute or Less
- Videos/Shorts ~5 Minutes
- Videos/Articles ~15 Minutes
- Podcasts ~2 Hours
- Books ~8 Hours
- Exercises
- Who will you be
- I will teach you to be rich – money conscious
- Relationships – mirror label most interesting person at party
- 4000 weeks ideas – rivers instead of buckets
- Vitamins – rhonda and veggies
- Ikigai –
- Stand on shoulder of giants – learn from the best – gordon ryan clip
- Be careful who take advice from
- Overstimulation is ruining your mind – josh clip
- Alan watts – what if money no object
- Sadghuru – it is just a thought
- Gratitude video
- 7 quotes
- 4000 weeks
- michellin star
- life is ocean not bucekt
- never read all fav books etc
- to be the best dr first have to choose – indecision is a choice
- Video – At what cost – success but at what cost – animation
- Fav books (below)
Where do you want to be in 5 years?
- Health?
- Career?
- Financially?
- Relationships?
What do you want to be remembered for after you die?
What will you have done and who will you have become on your deathbed?
(they say you’re supposed to begin with an end in mind)
Given the 100 things we are responsible for, it’s easy to forget what’s truly important. We don’t talk about death all that often, but it does a fantastic job of putting in to perspective. What is actually important and what is not?
(I’ve been told meditation, magic mushrooms, and base jumping have all had this same effect as well)
Once we have something we’re shooting for, a direction we’re going, the actions in our daily life start to have a whole lot more meaning when we’re actually going somewhere. Tim Ferriss described this thought experiment as “Do, Have, Be” in his book 4 Hour Work Week.
‘In 10 years what will you want to have done, what will you own, who will you be?’
Tim Ferriss
1 Min
“You should be far more concerned with your current trajectory than your current results”
James Clear
“If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants”
Isaac Newton
“In order to become the best lawyer or doctor… you first have to choose”
If you change nothing in your life, where will you be in 5 years? 10?
Where do you want to be in 5 years? Write that shit down
“I’d rather live in a world of ‘Oh wells’ than ‘What ifs’”
Tim Ferriss, 4 Hour Work Week
“It’s you vs you dog, you’re running your own race”
Russ, Song – Stockholm Syndrome
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.”
Henry Ford
“Thoughts disentangle themselves when they pass through the lips and fingertips”
Dawson Trotman
“If I was to sum up the single biggest problem of senior leadership in the Information Age, it’s a lack of reflection.
Former Secretary of Defense, Marine Corps General, James Mattis
Solitude allows you to reflect while others are reacting.”
“If you haven’t read hundreds of books, you are functionally illiterate…
Jim Mattis
…you will be incompetent, because your personal experiences alone aren’t broad enough to sustain you.”
“Knowledge is only as useful as your willingness to apply it”
Colin Douglas (pretty good, right?)
STOP mufuker. Stop right there. Pause. You’ve read enough…. too much. Go do something. Whatever that inkling of an idea you have in the back of your mind. Go. 15 minutes. Start it. Whatever it is. Please. Just do something
“You don’t need more information, you need more action”
Source: George Washington (probably)
ACTION: Stop! Go do something. Take action. Make your life better
“If you can spend 8 hours building someone else’s dreams you can spend 1 hour building your own”
Dan Koe
Seriously. Go do something. For you. For your kids. For me. For the cookie monster. Idgaf. Just pls go do something. 5 years from now if won’t be me regretting it.
“We need more people willing to accept the consequences”
Josh, Coach at Olympic Training Center
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
Ferris Bueller
One day, I realized with all these people I was jealous of, I couldn’t just choose little aspects of their life. I couldn’t say I want his body, I want her money, I want his personality. You have to be that person. Do you want to actually be that person with all of their reactions, their desires, their family, their happiness level, their outlook on life, their self-image? If you’re not willing to do a wholesale, 24/7, 100 percent swap with who that person is, then there is no point in being jealous.
Once I came to that realization, jealousy faded away because I don’t want to be anybody else. I’m perfectly happy being me. By the way, even that is under my control. To be happy being me. It’s just there are no social rewards for it.
Naval Ravikant
“You don’t need more information, you need more action”
Source: Unknown
“Sentiment without action is the ruin of the soul”
Edward Abbey
“Choose in advance what to be bad at”
Oliver Burkeman, 4000 Weeks
‘Habits are like building a bridge away from a deserted island. Every time you start a new project or habit or goal and don’t finish the last one you just add to the collection.
Source: legit can’t remember
Pretty soon you’ve just got a bunch of half built bridges and you’re still stuck on the island’
5 Minutes – Videos
Humans are incredible susceptible to Group Think. Even being aware at how easily we are moved to join the group is the first defense against it
15 Minutes Videos/Articles
Harvard Happiness Experiment – Colin verified
Overstimulation is Ruining Your Life
I watched this the first time after a friend sent it to me. It totally rocked the way I viewed media and attention.
The High Price We Pay for Pursuing the Wrong Things in Life
This video totally transformed my view of success. Do I really want to be successful or can I enjoy my life along the way?
Stanford Prison Experiments – Our mind are so god damn powerful. Just the belief of ourselves tremendously changes our actions.
Milgrams shock experiment – not verified – Not required??
Paul Graham – Have to be useful – Be a contributing member of society
Top 10 Most Transformative Books
- Never Split the Difference
- 4000 Weeks
- Essentialism
- Unbroken
- 1984
- Can’t Hurt Me
- Die With Zero
- Power of Moments
- Turn the Ship Around – relations w others. Helping others be best self
- Kiss or Kill – if interested in climbing/outdoors
Honorable Mentions
11) Breath by James Nestor
12) Defining Decade – You have to first choose
Podcasts Resilience/Crazy Stories
- Jon McAvoy
- David Choe
- Kevin Hart on Joe Rogan
- Courtney Dewaulter