*see the list, skip the story*

A few years back I had taken a trip to Estonia. Right after college graduation I was on the Euro-travel grind. I packed up my 40L Backpack and scooped up my one way ticket to Ireland.

I met with some friends and had a kickass time in that beautiful country. A few weeks later I found myself itching to use the minor in Russian that had sucked so many soulless hours from my life. I wanted to become genuinely fluent, not this mediocre half-assed test taking Russian.

The past month had been a delightful series of adventures with some of my closest friends. I’d been to the highest cliffs in Europe (chump change btw), lived in a homemade trailer, caught a sheep, drank Guinness in Ireland and had pasta carbonara in Rome. I was becoming bored of the site-seeing, and despite loving time with my friends, I was finding myself itching for a little more structure after a month of whatever-the-hell-we-wanted-to-do.

Turns out, there’s only so many thousand year old buildings, sculptures, and rivers in cities that you can see before you start to get bored. That was the first alarm bell.

Here I was post-graduation, with my friends, with money saved up, eating delicious food, on vacation, with all the time in the world… and still I was yearning for just a little bit more… something else, maybe. My 6 foot, Spanish speaking, orangutang-toed best friend Rex was noticing similar dilemma.

We didn’t quite know what we were looking for, but we knew this constant milling about aimlessly wasn’t quite it. We found ourselves with premium accounts on Workaway, Worldpackers, and WWOOF (cheaper than paying for lodging 😉 ). I wanted that ‘authentic’ experience and am a cheap bastard. Locals often times give you food and lodging in exchange for helping out on their farm or ranch or local projects or what have you.

You can work out a deal with the owner, work a certain number of hours, and explore the local area the rest of the time. In my case I wanted the language and ended up pairing with a German man, his Estonia wife, their Ukranian refugee, and their trilingual toddler and 8-year old daughter. Along for the ride, here we go!

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”
Hunter Thompson

I was so far removed from ‘normal life’. I was in a small village, working on a farm, with a family whose English I could barely understand. I’m there for about 2 weeks and learned so much about life.

I started to figure out what type of life I want to live. I didn’t have my friends. I wasn’t working towards any projects I believed in. I didn’t get any adrenaline-infused activity. I got to weld, feed the pigs, forage for mushrooms, and drive forklifts… but I started to realize none of those things were bringing me genuine fulfillment.

I started to regret coming to the farm in the first place. The family spoke mostly Estonian and English anyways, so Russian didn’t quite feel natural. I was isolated from my buddies.

All my college life I had dreamed of this 2 month long Euro-trip. I had time, money, and now total freedom… And I wasn’t quite enjoying myself. I imagined if I was retired, this is the sort of freedom I’d have. I wasn’t quite sure if that’s why I wanted.

So I began to reflect. I was grateful for a whole host of things:

• The cross cultural experience
• The ability to work in another country
• The beautiful countryside and this family’s kindness
• Plentiful, delicious, homecooked organic meals
• Playing with the two kids

But I wasn’t quite happy. And I began to reflect on all the things I would want to be living a life I wanted. This trip it hit me – I didn’t want some end state. Happiness wasn’t some place I ‘got to’. And I didn’t want to ‘retire’.

I did want to live a life with certain habits. The big four, at least right now in my life, are what I’ve stumbled across (in no particular order):
1) Time with friends
2) Physical activity
3) Learning/mental stimulation
4) Progress towards some goal I believe in
5) Excitement (sometimes that means adrenaline)

It had taken a full month of full, unrestricted, pure freedom and then the deprivation of some things I enjoy most in this world. But I think I finally figured out some ways I want to live my life. I realized that the list might change.

In the past 2 years I’ve added a few more:

• Writing (mental stimulation)
• Long walks (mental clarity)
• Meditation (peace for the now)

I’ve come to realize that life isn’t quite an end goal. There’s no final state of peace. That only comes when we’re in the pursuit of something.

My perfect day is the pursuit of a better future while enjoying the present day.

Peace is the pursuit.

I guess I’m curious to know… what do other perfect days look like?