July 4, 2024 – Thurs Okinawa

Read Time: 7 mins

Pretty sure we’re supposed to contribute to something greater.

Ok, maybe not supposed too. I hate that word anyways. It’s so hand wavy. For what? For why? For whom?

Supposed to?

Says who? Did you just make that up? You say I’m supposed to?

‘Supposed to’ always comes with an asterisk. It comes with an if. Just like ‘Should’. ‘Should’ and ‘Supposed to’, they both come with asterisks.

I should do something? According to what?

Shoulds and Supposed to’s.

They both have caveats:
You should work out… but only if you don’t want to be a cup of lard on the couch.
You’re supposed to oil changes… but only if you like driving your ’02 Toyota Camry.
You shouldn’t do heroin… but only if you don’t want to die of drug overdose.

There’s always a stipulation. Unfortunately, people have a habit of leaving the stipulation out.

“You should do well at your job”. Ok fine, but only if you believe in the cause.

Now that that tangent has been handled…

Pretty sure we’re supposed to contribute to something greater.

It’s true.

No not because it’s good for us or because it’s a good use of our time or any of that tomfoolery.

I’m pretty sure we’re supposed to contribute something greater because it leads to higher levels of happiness. Psychologist Jonathan Haidt has more than a few words on that.

Some are able to find that contribution through religion. Religious or not, we seek that collectivism.

I’m no scientist. I’m no researcher nor psychologist. But I do read books and pay attention to people. And I’ve listened for long enough to know that humans feel better when we’re helping people.

We feel better in the short term and the long term when we’re giving. There’s only so much happiness that we can get from getting. More more more. It helps in the near term, but in in the long term giving is a far greater metric for happiness than getting.

Dwindling

We’re not supposed to fritter away our time, desperately fighting for the next promotion. We’re not supposed to spend 1/3 of our life filing paperwork and designing spreadsheets.

As a creature, an animal, a living being on this planet… we are not designed to ‘scrape by’ for 40+ hours each week and then ‘recharge’ by watching a screen of moving LEDs for hours on end.

THAT IS NOT HAPPINESS.
That isn’t fulfillment.
That is not how the fuck we’re supposed to live.

Maybe I’m talking out my ass. Maybe I’m making this up and maybe I don’t have the data directly in front of me. But feelings speak for something and observations for another. Left and right I look around and see people dissatisfied with the way they live their lives.

They’ve gone so far down the Rabbit Hole of Expectation, that they do not stop to evaluate if they’re even happy.

It’s unfortunate that so many struggle with the basic necessities to survive. It’s a shame. Equally as frustrating, many on their way up the pyramid we get caught in traps of money and women and status. We get stuck in a cycle just wanting more.

Fun for awhile, it all ends in the same way – Hedonic treadmills and short term happiness.

We can take notes from those higher on the pyramid… those that have found peace… those that are content with their lives and the progress they continue to make.

Aristotle. Marcus Aurelius. Modern day Alan Watts. Ralph Emerson. Henry Thoreau.

People have been contemplating this stuff for thousands of years. They’ve FIGURED OUT how to be happy. They understand how to create a life they’re proud of… one without regret.

They find the same things. Among many:
Contribution to things larger than self.

Humans are social animals. We belong together. We’re supposed to interact… that is, if we want to be happy.

No matter how shy the introvert, we benefit from social interaction. We aren’t designed to be siloed off 100% of our lives. We all have our own little worlds going on, but we just aren’t meant to be isolated our entire lives.

It feels good when we help others. We feel good when we’re eliminate suffering.

Humans want to belong. We want to contribute towards something ‘larger than ourselves’. We want to be a part of something larger than ourselves.

‘The happiest times in my life have been when I help other people’

Dan Bilzerian

The desire to be a part of is sometimes so powerful that it’s used against us in marketing. We have such an overwhelming desire to be a part that sometimes we’re terrified of being left out. FOMO.

“First of all, the best type of marketin’
Is marketin’ that doesn’t feel like marketin’
It makes the people feel like they a part of it
And when it’s done right, corporations think it’s marvelous
They feed us these ideas and they would place ’em in our hearts to sit
It’s why players are good at gettin’ chicks
It’s why Nike is good at sellin’ kicks
It’s why Disney is loved by all the kids
Why McDonald’s owners are super rich”

–Fly, Hopsin

This desire to contribute to something greater is part of what makes festivals and concerts so unbelievably powerful. It’s also part of why religion is so unbelievably powerful.

Contribution to the collective is why we love the Superbowl.
It’s why soccer is loved internationally.
It’s why we yell at our TVs and our friends who like the opposite team.

It’s why patriotism exists.
It’s why the Apple vs Android exists.
It’s why Apple was successful over IBM in 1984.

It’s why politicians argue so ferociously.
It’s what causes ‘them’ and ‘us’.
It’s why hazing exists.
It’s why people join gangs.

It’s what spurred the Revolution.
It’s how we overcame the Bubonic Plague.
It’s how the Nazis were beat in World War 2.

Contribution towards something greater.
We’re tribal. We want to belong. We want to be a part.

We’re designed to be a part of something greater. The rock climber Mark Twight calls it the ‘collective higher consciousness‘. We are meant to interact.

The impulse is so powerful, at times we don’t even understand why we act the way we act. We are joining the people. We are with people. We will protect them at all costs. By the People and Fort the People.

The true cost is when we are unconscious why we make the decisions we do. Once we are aware, we can create the tribe we want to be a part of.

We can choose the people we surround ourselves with. We’ll design our own tribe and ensure it’s one we want to align with. It doesn’t have to default to the people that merely exist around us.

We should be a part of. But if we’re not careful, that could be with people we don’t believe in.

So here’s a toast to all the people that make us better, to the people we want to help, and the people that contribute to something greater.