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Sometimes I wonder.

Coming from a hyper-competitive athletic environment in college, I’ve had to rewire my obsessive nature to compete over everything. There’s certainly a benefit, but when you start to dislike riding bikes because it becomes a meticulous grind just to shave a few seconds, well, I think we’ve hit a point of diminishing returns.

I’ve been a dog that’s been trained to shake and damn it I’m going to shake.

The desire for competition is healthy, but when it’s at the cost of enjoyment, is it even worth it?

That drive devolves. It turns into competition for competition’s sake. ‘I want to be the best, just because’.

That sounds to me a lot like the need for external validation.

Are we competing because we like to compete or just because we want to be seen as the best?
One is internally focused while the second is external.

I have one with a friend who gives 0 fucks about competition. He rarely involves himself and is utterly indifferent to ‘being the best’. He partakes strictly for his own personal enjoyment.

It’s weird to compete with a guy who doesn’t care who wins. It takes part of the fun out of the competition. But it also forces you to ask yourself why you’re competing in the first place.

Do you genuinely enjoy the activity are do you just want the validation?

We were all slacklining, trying to see who could get to the tree first and my buddy Rex defined ‘apathy’ that day.

No competition. No compulsion. No fire. Existing for existing sake. There to have fun.

He loved every moment of it, content to slackline and hang out with the boys. No sense of urgency. No pressure. No rush. Enjoy it.

In a life where nobody actually gives a fuck what kind of life you live and the only real metric for success is how much you enjoyed your life, Rex’s indifference was a backhanded reminder.

If nobody ever cared how you acted, what you bought, how you spent your time, how much money you had, if you enjoyed it… Would you change anything in your life?

There’s a secret:
Nobody does care. 200 years from the moment you die you’ll be forgotten into oblivion. Does that change the goals you’re seeking right now?

Enjoy your life, nobody else is going to enjoy it for you.