First Written: 16-Mar-2023 | Thu
(Part 1 here!)
There’s a famous study where a nurse worked with patients on their deathbeds and congregated 5 of the most recurring regrets.
I’ve referenced it a handful of times on the blog and noticed that every time I revisit it, it applies to my life through a slightly different lens. So I continue to do so (this is the same reason they say you should read your favorite books again. Thanks Dan Koe)
Anyways. Patients on their deathbeds, remember?
After looking at it through my new lens, I noticed a couple of things with The 5 Regrets. There was a pattern. Almost all of them related to the enjoyment of life.
Arguably more, but 2 regrets for sure could be directly rectified by hobbies. That’s right, hobbies. You heard me right. Like that thing you never get to because you’re ‘too busy’ nowadays. That thing that is the most fun in the whole wide world but you only do it ‘when you have time’. Yeah.
Turns out hobbies will eliminate your regrets when you’re on your deathbed.
Bronnie Ware is the original nurse who wrote down the regrets. She has the full list on her website. (There’s a whole book you can read, too!)
Life
Work, kids, relationships, sports, jobs, to-do lists, home, personal, cooking, exercise – There’s a level of responsibility associated with lots of areas in our lives. Sure, they might be enjoyable, but at the end of the day, we have to take care of those things.
Sometimes we get so caught up in the should do that we forget all about the get to do. And in the process, our own genuine enjoyment falls to the wayside. It’s deprioritized.
“There’s not enough time” is rarely a good excuse. I’m starting to realize that it’s almost always a result of not taking the time to prepare and plan. You have the responsibility to create a day that’s the perfect cocktail. It’s not that there isn’t enough time, it’s just that we don’t make the time.
Salvation
But it’s not easy to find The Hobby. It’s not easy to find the one thing that we enjoy. Especially when the other 98% of our day is jam-packed.
The beauty is we don’t have to know exactly what we want to do – That’s the whole point of exploration.
We do, however, have to be intentional about setting aside time to explore. Time to understand ourselves. Time to reflect. Time to figure out what we like and don’t like. Time to try new things. Time to pick up new hobbies.
Set aside time to re-prioritize your life.
If we don’t deliberately set aside time to think about what we want, we’re allowing ourselves to be subject to what everyone else wants. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Often what we want and what others want to overlap.
But sometimes they don’t.
Once you wake up and realize you have control over your own free time and enjoyment, the responsibility falls on you.
It’s your responsibility to enjoy your time.
Otherwise, you’ll end up with the exact same regrets everyone else did.
I sure as hell don’t know what I want to do for my entire life… but that’s why I’m exploring. That’s the whole point of life, in my opinion. Let yourself taste different flavors.
Figure out what you don’t like so that you can figure out what you do.
Sign up for a belly-dancing class. Take a baking class. Go to a BMX race. Go down a TedTalk rabbit hole. Go to church. Meet people. Buy a skateboard.
The possibilities become infinite once you start looking. The funny thing is once you start with one hobby, you often meet somebody that has another, and another, and they often start to spiral. You meet someone who knows someone and the next thing you know, you’re Salsa dancing in Las Vegas (ok, but actually though).
Expose yourself.
The first week of moving to a new city, I signed up for a month of Salsa Dancing. SALSA DANCING! What in the world? And to be honest I’m really not sure. $60 and I’ve got no idea if I’ll enjoy it. Maybe I enjoy it, maybe I don’t.
But even if I don’t, at least I’ll be 1 step closer to living a life that’s enjoyable to me. I’ll have figured out what I don’t enjoy… I’ll be 1 step closer to finding hobbies and a lifestyle that I do enjoy –
That self discovery is worth more than any hobby’s initial monetary investment.
Figure out what the hell you want in this life because nobody else is going to figure that out for you.
When starting something like a new hobby, all you have to lose is your humility. But I’d rather lose that than the time I’d be wasting thinking ‘what if?’ the next 30 years.
Go make yourself feel alive.
I listed a few hobbies up above, but if you’ve got absolutely no idea where to start, here’s a couple options. Some of these I, myself, have explored with and some I haven’t. Take your pick.
Options
Some ideas with low financial barrier to entry:
- Skateboarding ($50 on Facebook Marketplace)
- Cooking classes
- Baking
- Salsa (Look around in your area)
- Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (All ages – $140/month)
- Rock Climbing ($60/month at a gym)
- Gardening ($5 for some seeds)
- Guitar/Keyboard ($60 on Facebook Marketplace)
- Biking ($200 Facebook)
- Sudoku Puzzles (free)
- Moving somewhere to learn a language :0 !!
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