First Written: 23-Jan-2023 | Mon

Appreciate the Worst Case

As you’ll find I mention in other areas of my work, I’m quite fond of travel. But not for the site seeing. Not for the food. Not even for the vacation. Nah nah nah. That’s missing the point. The whole reason travel is so juicy is because of the variety it offers. It offers something different. Done right, it can provide perspective and open your eyes to lifestyles totally counter to your own.

The finding value in travel is realizing that sometimes the ‘different’ is good… even when it’s bad. The bad isn’t inherently ‘bad’, I prefer to think of it more as exposure. If we can reframe our mindset to enjoy the bad parts of travel, or life for that matter, the experiences we thought we’d hate become a whole lot more bearable.

How the Hell Do You Enjoy It If It’s Bad?

The best part about travel is the exposure. It’s all about feeling something new. Feeling something different. In my time of 20-hour road trips and 10 thorny countries, I’ve had some fairly awful moments while being on the road. But that’s part of the wonder.

It’s part of the excitement. And if we can learn to take the bad moments in stride, brush them off, and chalk them up to the journey, will come away happier more eye-opened people. Right now I’m reading [[Jack Kerouac]]’s infamous Beatnik novel [[On the Road]]. Half the damn novel is this guy talking about how awful it was on the road. Hitchhiking. Penniless. Hungry. Cold. Wet. It sounded pretty painful. But that’s the whole point. That’s part of what made Mr. Kerouac’s adventures so esteemed – for better or for worse, the adventure. It’s not always about where you’re headed (cliché, I know). It’s not about the end state, it’s about what you can learn along the way, and most of the time that learning is done when you don’t feel so good.

It makes you more grateful for the little things in life and the small wins. Because when everything feels against you, it’s hard to appreciate anything but once you keep moving and go through it, you’ll have a wider appreciation for things that are going right. If nothing ever goes wrong, it’ll never feel like anything is going right.

So embrace the shitty parts of life as an opportunity to learn and enjoy it as a process.

It Opens Your Eyes

My experiences haven’t been quite the same as Mr. Kerouac’s, but I wholeheartedly understand the vanity that travel blesses you with. I’ve slept on the sides of highways and eaten pasta out of sandy bags. I’ve spent the night in buses and on literal rocks. I’ve had traveler’s diarrhea and had to stop by ERs. It’s shitty (nice pun, I know), but it opens your eyes. It lets you experience life. It lets you see what the hell is out there. It introduces you to tribulations and triumphs that you wouldn’t have otherwise. Don’t you think the tribulations make the triumphs even better?

People find the unknown scary. So when someone is willing to venture into it, it’s a badge of honor and the result is a story worth telling. For better or for worse, the experience will change your perspective. It broadens it. What you thought was important in your life will change. What used to make you panic, might hardly raise the heart rate. The more uncomfortable experiences in our life we take on, the more comfortable we’ll feel in the uncomfortable.

The Lowest Valleys Make the Highest Peaks

If we view the worst part of our lives as a singular event, well yeah, obviously it’s going to suck shit. But if instead, we can expand our view to a broader perspective – look at the grand scheme of life and how the bad can help us – well the bad experiences now become productive. They still aren’t necessarily enjoyable, but we’re able to take them in stride to contribute to a happier more grateful life.

It’s all about reframing the narrative. Instead of telling yourself “Damn this sucks”, ask yourself “How can I use this to my advantage?”

The experience becomes a token of gratitude. Sleeping on rocks makes us grateful for even a stiff bed (2 inches of a foam pad? Immaculate). Eating uncooked hotdogs for a week makes a PB&J taste godly. Crummy internet connection for a month makes coming home to speedy YouTube rabbit holes that much more enjoyable.

The mundane becomes enjoyable if we allow ourselves to appreciate it.

Instead of viewing on the bad parts of life as singular points in time, look at them as necessary pieces to the puzzle. Embrace them. They make you, you. Figure out how to use them to appreciate what you do have. You’ll live.

I’ve missed trains before. I’ve missed flights before. I’ve broken bones (and hearts ;)). I’ve been scared. I’ve feared for my life. I thought it was over at points. But as difficult as it is, even in the shittiest of times, I tried to have a forward-looking mindset and realize that it’s all temporary. Even the worst times will be over and hey, you’ll have a kickass story out of it.

Are the Bad Experiences Bad For You?

They’re different. They’re uncomfortable. But as soon as you accept the discomfort as part of the journey, the sooner you’ll be able to enjoy the journey as a journey and not something to be afraid of.

There’s this idea in Jiu Jitsu that you have to develop your defense before your offense. If you’re afraid of being put in ‘dangerous’ situations you will not be effective. You’ll only be thinking about getting killed (simulated killed). But if you’re able to embrace the danger and accept it – that is when you can start to be effective.

Jocko Willink describes soldiers going to battle already accepting death – That’s when he becomes an effective soldier. Once he accepts the consequences he can do his job. Up until that point, the fear is your sole focus.

Jocko Willink on Death (11 minutes)

It’s the same thing with accepting the shitty parts of your day, week, or life. You won’t be getting killed, but the principle still applies – Once you accept the promises of pain as part of the process, you’ll be able to enjoy the journey for what it is. Staying afraid doesn’t have any benefit.

So view the worst parts as one more thing to be thankful for. Take the bad experiences in stride and embrace them as a way to armor your mind. Ask yourself how to use the shitty experiences to your benefit.

So go sleep on some rocks. You’ll thank yourself later.