Written: 07-Nov-2022 | Mon 17:18

Published: 22-Nov-2022

3 Months Ago, I had a friend tell me she was trying to get in better shape. She told me she had been trying for quite some time, but regardless of how many calories were cut, how many runs she went on, she failed to see the progress she was looking for.

Somewhere around 2 months later, we talked on the phone again and she told me she was in some of the best shape of her life, and loving every bit of it. What changed?

Average Speed

She told me she discovered the concept of average speed. No, not literally, like on a run, instead, she referred to the average speed of life and peoples’ goals in life.

Personally

I’ve been working on figuring out this whole writing process. I enjoy thinking, theorizing and contemplating. I love wrestling with ideas and reflecting upon what has and will happen. Reflecting upon the ‘has happened’ is a beautiful thing. It allows for a more fulfilling life – It allows you to live a life more catered toward you. It allows you to discover and create your sense of self.

As such, I enjoy the revelations I stumble upon as well as sharing them with other people. But to make ideas palatable for other people, the thought must be concise and grounded in reality.

I’ve been trying to balance writing, editing, and publishing in addition to irregular hours at a regular job. I’m impatient as hell and want to have all my ideas already matured. I want them curated, and I want them now. That’s not how you build something though. Slow and steady truly do win the race.

Discovering Your Average Speed

For purposes of demonstrating average speed, I’ll explain my writing dilemma. Initially, I tried writing all day, every day. It lasted for about a week before I burned out. It’s simply not sustainable. On the other end of the spectrum, I realize that if I don’t set time aside for writing, it won’t happen naturally.

Anything worth doing requires effort. The action doesn’t happen inherent to life – Otherwise, everyone would do the difficult things in life. Working out. Building relationships. And yes, reflecting on your life. They all take time and effort, and without deliberate practice, fall to the wayside.

Switching Strokes

A fabulous book… or so I’m told. Atomic Habits by [[James Clear]]. I’ve never read it. I did however have a friend read it (Pro-Tip – get your friends to read books so you don’t have to ;)) and speak to one of Mr. Clear’s concepts:

Your average speed.

My friend described the idea of average speed as the average pace with which we comfortably go through life. Everyone has a different pace at which they ‘run’.

We have an average speed for every hobby or goal we’ve ever undertaken. Getting in shape, learning a language, playing an instrument, even playing video games… They all have an average speed with which our brains like to digest. Our brains our content with moving at a specific speed.

Our job is to figure out what that speed is.

Stop Rushing!!

You can’t rush things… I discovered this a few weeks ago when I tried to write all day every day. Rushing is different from being productive. Productivity is sustainable and enjoyable when done right, but rushing through things is the result of forcing the end goal. Rushing means not enjoying the process and instead being motivated by fear or reward – Both short-term motivators. You’ll find yourself ‘rushing’ when you move faster than your average speed.

The same sentiment was recently echoed by one of my favorite artists – [[Russ]]. He pointed out that over the long run if you’re consistent, love what you do, enjoy the process, and just keep moving – You’ll get where you want to, regardless of how fast you’re moving… as long as it’s your pace.

As impatient as we get, we can only will things to come about so fast. We can only learn so fast. If we move faster than our brains like, all that we’ll be met with is burnout. Growing up in school, we’re all sort of put in a box and expected to learn every specific date, fact, and subject within the semester-long curriculum.

We’re all forced to run at the same speed.

Nobody Is Going to Seize This Life For You

After we break out into the real world it’s as if we still expect someone else to tell us how fast to move through life. It’s harder to take ownership and choose our own speed. Instead, we start to assume the speed of our careers, jobs, or relationships – All external speeds. None of which are intrinsic to us. We’ll continue to move at these external speeds, resulting in either burnout or boredom, unless we make it a point not to.

If we get impatient and immediately try to obtain the end goal, we’re going to drown in our own habits. Instead, we have to find our average speed, regardless of those around us. Our intrinsic average speed is unrelated to the speed of our careers or the people around us. If we can match our goals, habits, and careers to this speed we’ll find much more satisfaction as well as progress. We’ll enjoy going through life.

It’s a balance somewhere between being lazy and running ourselves into the ground. Our average speed is where the flow state happens.

Going faster than our average speed is when we feel rushed. It feels like we’re choking ourselves out. Burnout is perpetually on the horizon. It’s incredibly uncomfortable and not sustainable.

Running at our average speed doesn’t mean ditching our work ethic though. Instead, it means being more aware of how fast we like to move. It means being aware of external forces in our lives that could either be speeding us up too fast (our work, friends, anxiety) or slowing us down (no habits, plans, or goals). Fulfillment and daily contentment come from finding our average speed with all of our goals.

Enjoy The Process

If you’re anxious, stressed out, or otherwise unable to reach your goals, it might be because you’re moving too fast. Slow down. Let yourself breathe. It’s ok to enjoy that donut. It’s ok to not be writing every single day. It’s ok to give yourself a break and enjoy yourself.

You need time off from constantly punishing yourself or you won’t meet your goals in the first place. And if you do, it won’t be enjoyable along the way.

I treated much of my collegiate academic and athletic career with this incorrect mindset. I felt perpetually behind, so I would spend even more time, more reps, just more in the gym. When in reality, what I really needed was 1 step backward for 2 steps forward. My friend who was attempting to get into shape explained to me this idea. It wasn’t until she loosened the reigns on herself that she actually started to see the progression.

So, chill out for a bit. It’s ok. Find your average speed. Don’t pay attention to the pace your friends are going through their lives. You’re only in a race with yourself.

Run too fast and you’ll burn out with minimal progress. Move too slowly and you’ll feel unfulfilled and lazy with no habits. So build some habits and if you feel like they’re outrunning you, it’s OK to chill out for a freaking second.

You’ll get where you want to eventually, as long as you’re moving. Move how fast YOU want to move.

Focus on loving the process.