The whole thing’s one big paradox.

You have to know what you Want in order to build the Life, but to know what you Want you have to have already been Building.

It’s all trial and error. It seems like Life is one long journey to figure out what brings us joy and how to live how we want. Isn’t that Self-Actualization?

Experimentation is the only way we learn.

Unfortunately, that means failure. Failure sucks. I do not like failure. Failure is useful.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
Winston Churchill

There’s also no incentive for failure… not in the short term at least. Alternatively, in the long run, failure is the the only option for success. We’re paid for failure, only after infinite iteration.

99 ways for a light bulb not to work right?
The only way out is through.

What Do You Desire?

I’ve found the tricky part about Intuition is that peers and family always watch. People watch and people judge.

It’s not malicious. People are good. But judgement is scary regardless.

“Gotta learn to speak yo’ truth and that’s just part of the process”

Joyner Lucas, Evolution

But they only way to get good is to first be bad. Being bad sucks.

The greats get the round of applause and the pats on the back. But you only get good after being bad.

To iterate and create a life we actually want is the Marathon.
And unfortunately that means iterating through alllll the types of life we don’t want to live.

I’ve learned that finding resentments is just as valuable because it’s points us 1 step closer to what we love. I’ve found this with hobbies, relationships, types of work, places to live.

Mississippi sucks because there’s no mountains. Las Vegas sucks because you can’t walk anywhere. But Mississippi feels more communal and Las Vegas is outdoorsy.
Having the downsides shows you what you want.

It’s fun being good. Athletics. Data. Curiosity. Want to know about mycelial networks and how nasal breathing increases your oxygen? I got you. Its fun to be good.

Communication? Making plans? Being Sociable? No thanks. But they’ve all illuminated what I actually want my life to look like.

Spooky

“Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear”

George Addair

It’s one of my fav quotes. “Do it scared”. I don’t think we ever get where we want to be without a little bit of gut-wretching fear.

And societally speaking, we don’t much prioritize exploration at all. So prioritize exploration. Nobody’s going to figure out your life for you.

Each of us has a unique set of talents, strengths, and weaknesses. Yet we gloss right over these as we ask the youth to line themselves up neatly in single file line behind the box that says “Doctor” or “Lawyer”.

Each of our brains are designed wildly different. They are optimized for different things. I think that Mother Nature figured that part out. Some were better at tracking deer, others at gathering people.

Early in evolution single cells organisms began to specialize and work together… that’s how you get multi-celled organisms. Humans are the same way. We’re better together.

But that requires understanding our unique brain and pursuing our self interests.

Time and again I’m brought back to 5 Regrets of the Dying. The #1 Regret:

I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

I guess I’m trying to say listen to the voices.

References

• Cities and Ambition
• 5 Regrets of the Dying
• How to Find Purpose Dr. Andrew Huberman x Robert Greene
  
  

Questions

• What does a Perfect Day look like?
• What is a cause you’d die for? (Arthur Brooks)
• What are the things you want to Do, Have, & Be in your life? (Tim Ferris)